That Drifting Excrement Was Far Too Meaningful! It's the TV Letdowns of the Past Year.
Looking back, we reflect on the television landscape of the recent year, a handful of series stand out not for their excellence, but for their notable failures. From cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly bad docuseries, here are the productions that had us utterly bewildered or just reaching for the remote.
And Just Like That
How to start with this divisive spin-off? Burdened with woeful scripts, painful arcs (justice for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series struggled to justify its existence. Briefly, as the final series began, it looked like it had finally hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the creator declared this would be the last season. It ended on a bum note; the lingering shot of Miranda’s toilet flooded with poo was simply too on-the-nose. Yet, fans certainly found joy picking apart every single “wtf?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who didn’t release a small sob?
All’s Fair
‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’
But that was practically the smallest of this show's problems. The subject of a exceedingly uncommon no-star assessment, it was hard to know where to start enumerating the problems. The hilariously wooden writing? The tedious glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly wilful procession of cliches? Acting so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a new season has been commissioned, so we’re probably going to have to.
The Charlie Sheen Documentary
Considering the legal troubles, domestic violence claims and parental shortcomings, it’s reasonable to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive hedonism while failing to tell us anything we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this show might evoke should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.
The Supercomputer Drama
Naturally we understood it was preposterous from the get-go: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either save the world – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely reacted when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about admitting defeat.
MobLand
Shady characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its crime drama back.
Actually, that is harsh on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a bit old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t endure the embarrassment of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Mainly that it was just profoundly dull; a conflict over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.
With Love, Meghan
Considering the extent to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost tempting to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various forays into quaint lifestyle as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to concede that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and forgettable crafting “hacks” you’ll not remember instantly. All supported by vast, largely unearned wealth. Ugh.
The Beckham Documentary
There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to bridle at what she describes as her “stern” image. But unfortunately, she didn’t do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.
The Game Show
It had the potential to be the next cultural phenomenon – except even more extravagant, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a well-known personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As contestants competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s even now too complicated to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.
The Lena Dunham Romcom
How do you follow a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romantic comedy about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, reveling in Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the abundance of celebrity cameos involved felt icky.
The Sketch Show Return
Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.
Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, hopes were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but repeated in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.
The Knox Dramatisation
This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated sensitively. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right tone, lumbering from strangely jaunty, somewhat stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.
The Maths Genius Thriller
We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so intelligent he’s on the verge of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This globe-trotting thriller about secret services targeting – and killing off – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.
1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story
This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for sexual exploits as she undertook her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we craved was way more examination of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the legendary mum who appeared to haul her son out of the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.
